Closed Doors

     It wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for, but I suppose that the recently homeless can’t be overly picky. Before you ask, I will not be checking with the safe house. I used to work at the food bank and we cooked dinner over at the shelter at least twice a week. People would recognize me there…and how mortifying would that be? I may not have much, but I do still have a small lump of pride.
     This wasn’t a planned move for me. Who really grows up wishing that they can one day have a career as a bum? I suppose some people might, and not to discredit their dreams, but that wasn’t the path I wanted. I was going to become a veterinarian!  Somehow I wound up in a fancy business school instead where I graduated with a fancy degree and a bunch of fancy loans. Both my parents died my senior year of college and I didn’t have any siblings or remaining family members to speak of, but that was okay- for a while.
     Until I got laid off from my job that I’d had since graduation and couldn’t find anyone else to hire me. I lost my apartment first- an old fashioned eviction letter after I missed three months of rent. They had been generous with my situation, but I understood- everyone needs to make money. I lost most of my belongings, which was fine given that I had nowhere to put them. Stayed on the couch of a friend here, the guest bedroom of someone I met there. Tonight would be my first night sleeping under an awning- I was too proud to admit to friends that I still hadn’t found work and frankly, I’ve pretty much given up. At least for a while. “Try McDonalds” seems to be everyone’s solution. Well guess what? I have too much experience for McDonalds they told me- not enough for majority of the positions in my field that were open.  That had made for a pretty crappy Tuesday.
     It is easily below freezing and dark clouds blocked the moonlight, promising a rainy welcome to my new lifestyle- perfect. At least I’d had the sense to bring my blankets from my old life. I remember wrapping up in these on my couch over a cup of cocoa and mindless television on the Discovery Channel. Those had been the days, and I hadn’t even realized.

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